Naming Your Car By Geoff Wheatley

Over the years my wife has purchased ten or so cars, on the other hand this scribe has had about thirty pass through his hands although I am not quite sure of the exact number!

Why can my spouse remember each car while I simply have a vague memory of the ones I liked and the others? The answer is simple, she had names for each one, and at the drop of a hat or whatever, will tell you the color, size, shape etc without any problem. I know several people who have followed in her footsteps and can recall every vehicle they have ever owned, but in my defense I would say that apart from the recall ability there can be drawbacks to such a policy.

First what gender represents you, the owner, and why? If it's something like Princess, The Duchess, or Royal Delight, this could mean that you feel a secret yearning to be considered both special and even royal. Nothing wrong with that providing you don't take the idea too far and spend all your retirement savings on a second hand Rolls Royce that will require you to take out a second or even third mortgage every time you get the car serviced.

I have known owners who have cars named "Black Beauty" (Obviously the car was black) or "Red Dasher" (I don't need to explain that one) , or even "White Willey" (I can't explain that in print!).. Girl's names are also popular like "Cassandra" or "Frieda" but usually only with the male owners. On the other hand certain female owners seem to enjoy "Boris", "Ulysses" "Royal Rascal" and "Claude", to mention just a few. I like the name "Rhet" that I saw painted on a red Corvette, seemed to be the ideal name for the car on the principle that the owner, a rather attractive female, was heard to say" Frankly I don't give a damn" when told that she could not park in front of the Golf Club! "Sexy Boy" is self explanatory and usually not correct, while "Mr. Wonderful" a name that I often feel should be inscribed on the rear end of my latest car simply gets a loud laugh from the girl I married some thirty years ago!

Names that are featured in fun can usually result in problems like "The Clunker" or "Dum-dum". Cars have been known to take their revenge on some wet lonely road around midnight for being called such terms of endearment! There is another situation that requires some serious thought, if you have two cars one named "Tom" and the other "Mary", can you park them in the same garage for very long without some serious consequences? As young people have been known to read my comments I cannot go into further detail on that question so let me simply say... Remember when you were twenty… I rest my case!
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